Back to the start
by QuiteRightPond
Summary: A small oneshot Pondlock that I wrote after someone I'm totally not naming names gave me this idea. And this is me crediting her. You should read her stuff. It's cool.


***Disclaimer* None, I repeat, _none, _of these characters belong to me. It's just a little fun to get the stories out of my head. These characters belong to their rightful owners and whatnot. As I said, it's all fun. Enjoy!**

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_"Question_s_ of science, science and progress  
__Do not speak as loud as my heart  
__And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me."_

Sometimes people come into someone's life and they turn it upside down. And that person knew that if this person were to ever leave, they would never be the same ever again. But she left him, constantly, to go and travel and see things that people only dreamt about. She was the girl with stars in her eyes and he was unconditionally in love, he would never admit it though.

One time she came back, and this time she was staying. She discovered she was pregnant and told him straight away. He didn't know how to feel about it. He kept on calling John up over the simplest of things regarding the pregnancy. John normally yelled at him to sleep, because it was usually late at night when Sherlock called. Amelia just listened in and rolled her eyes.

They fought when the baby was born, but they always made up. They fought over silly things such as him taking cases when she told him not to because they were dangerous and she couldn't live without him. He told her that she was being stupid and letting her emotions rule over everything. She told him to shut up and then she kissed him. But the desperation was still there.

The baby, they named him Alex, was two months old when it happened. They had just fought again, only this time she didn't kiss him and they didn't make up straight away. He let her storm off into the baby's room. He wanted a bit and then followed her. He smiled when he saw her sitting in the rocking chair with Alex stretched out, sleeping on top of her. He quietly slipped into the room, careful not to wake them. He reached for Alex to put him in his crib, but felt a warm substance. He switched the light on and stared in horror as the girl he loved and their son lay dead in front of him. She had warned him, but it wasn't that she had to live without him; they made it so he had to live without her.

He stood there for a while, listening to the stony silence, punctuated only by the noise of the rocking chair. Eventually he called John. Who picked up straight away, despite his threats of never speaking to Sherlock again if he called this late at night, _again._

Sherlock threw himself into the case, ignoring anyone who said otherwise. He wasn't going to stop until he hunted down the person, or people, behind the death of Amelia. Eventually he found them, and he got rid of them. The official police report said that they were hit by a train whilst on the run.

This didn't help him though. He became more distant than usual. He never ate anymore. He just stayed in the apartment on Baker St and played the violin.

The door to Alex's room stayed closed.

He never went into their room anymore.

It had been four years since he had been on this roof for the first time. Three years since Amelia walked back into his life. Seventeen years since he met Amelia for the first time. Almost two years since Alex was born. One year since their death. His brain counted the numbers effortlessly.

He saw a black cab pull up, a sad smile pulling at his lips. He called his friend.

"Sherlock?" He answered.

"Hello John." Sherlock said simply.

"Sherlock where are you?" But he already knew the answer. John looked up. "God no, Sherlock, please not again."

"I can't live without them, John." Sherlock said. "This time I'm not coming back, I'm sorry."

"Sherlock, please, she wouldn't want you to do this."

"I never told her that I loved her." Sherlock gave a humourless laugh.

"Sherlock," he listened to his friend's heavy breathing over the line.

"Tell everyone, John; tell them that I'm sorry." Sherlock took a deep breath in. "I'm sorry John, this is my note, tell Mrs Hudson that I cleaned upstairs so that she wouldn't have to. Goodbye John."

Sherlock chucked his phone away and stepped onto the edge of the roof. He took a deep breath in and closed his eyes. Images of Amelia flashed through his mind. The look she got when she figured something out. The twinkle in her eyes when she was laughing. The way her vibrant red hair looked over her shoulders on their wedding night as she traced patterns on his chest.

He jumped.

_"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you, tell you I need you  
Tell you I set you apart"_


End file.
